The Post Sequal

ya, ok so the sequal sucked because my friends showed up at the *coffee house* sooner than i though, so im writing a post sequal entree to make up for it.
today is the day my boyfriend comes back for the weekend. I'm excited but a little nervous. And this is where I turn on the honesty. uncensored so watch out.
im nervous because the only things weve ever done sexually were all to me, and this time, because i got my period, i feel like the pressure's on me to do something to him. its not a big pressure. but its definately there. Ugh, these are the only times that i start to feel like a teenage girl. see, last time we were together he wanted me to "return the favor" but i told him no, and that i wasnt ready. *weve only been dating for 3 weeks* and he was really sweet and understanding about it. thank god. but now i feel like the clock is ticking and i dont want to mess anything up so soon in our relationship by not doing it. Oh well, i know ill use good judgement when the time comes. Other than those issues, im searching for some speakers for my computer but all the one i want are over $30 so ill have to save for awhile. there are so many things im already saving for; a car, an xbox, and my trip next summer. yes, im saving for a car because im already 17 and no one is going to give me one, an xbox because i LOVE gaming and xbox makes some the best games, one in particular called halo that ive been wanting to learn for awhile. im also saving for a trip to europe that i plan on taking next summer after i graduate. i really want to go to france because i have a friend who was an exchange student from france and id like to go visit her. shes supposed to be coming here in august i believe, but who doesnt want an excuse to go to france. i also want to attend some sort of summer language school in nice to polish my french since im going to study it in college. i think im going to major in french and minor in linguistics. im fascinated by the whole subject. anyway, if the summer program goes well, i might study abroad or just repeat the program the next summer. im really looking forward to it. my boyfriend went to japan last year for two weeks (hes obsest with japanese culture and their language, much like me and the french, but he doesnt plan on studying it in college) and said it was the most exciting thing he'd ever done and he absolutely loved it. i asked him about the homesickness issue and he told me he was so disstraacted by everything he was learning he didnt have time to be homesick. im sure id find the time. its not that im really close to my mother. im not. its just that ive found that i have a huge comfort zone and its extremely hard for me to step out of it. well i guess i'll find out next summer
until next time---

23.6.06 18:27